This past week week has been rather difficult, partly because I’ve been doing more in my day as well as working out. I am exhausted. On top of that I got disappointing news, graduate school #2 said no to my application. So a combination of tiredness and disappointment has me even more down and craving some Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk (NYSFC) .
In addition to Ben & Jerry’s NYSFC I could use some chill time with my good buddy LSmooth cause he gives the best hugs ever. I need a hug. But LSmooth is back in NYC and Ben & Jerry’s will not help my fitness goals so I have to find some other coping mechanisms.
This down time mirrors “real life.” In the midst of a project or some other activity you’ll often be sidetracked or thrown off course. But no matter what the slow down is, you still have to finish the task. Be that as it may, take a moment to experience what is going on without wallowing in it. As my friend FlameStar says (and I’m paraphrasing), “have compassion for yourself and cry whatever tears you need to, mourn and then move on.”
To many times we bury our disappointment and grief over a lost opportunity and do not take the time to properly mourn leading to more suffering in our lives. I often wondered why it too me so long to get over failed relationships and now I know why. I did not take the time to mourn. I read a cliche statement some years ago that said tears are like rain for our insides, it brings cleansing when needed and nourishing as well. So I allowed the tears to fall and am allowing myself to mourn the death of a dream to attend graduate school this fall.
I will not give up on my dream, but I will review and make sure that the desires of my heart and aligned with the path God has for me to follow.
I took today off from the gym. It wasn’t a planned rest day but my hip is hurting so I needed to allow myself this recovery time. I am getting the physical rest I need as well and the emotional recovery time. I’ve caught up on my reset challenge assignments, though I’m still a wee bit behind on the corresponding blogs but that is okay.
Make sure that you are taking time out to to mourn the dying/dead dream. To grieve the loss of a vision. Let the tears fall, and cleanse the insides and approach life with new vim and vigor.
Here’s to the bright clean sky after the storm.