This year has been to quote a friend “MONUMENTAL!” I left the military, drove cross-country, lived in South Florida and decided it wasn’t for me, visited 2 continents, applied for graduate school and was rejected, moved to Spain and started teaching English. Whew, seen in the written form it seems like a great deal done and a great many changes. With these changes I am at a place of uncertainty.
As monumental as this year may have been I am left me with more questions than answers. Like leaves on trees that herald or reflect the seasons and float on the wind, I floated tumbled through the 2012. I’ve been pondering what to write in a post recapping the past year. And I’ve got nothing. Not that there is nothing to write about, however my thoughts are a jumble. I started this blog to chronicle my journey in life, sharing the ups and downs of life with an audience. Of late I felt like I had nothing to share because it’s all been rather blah. Not the say that my life is bad but the internal workings have all been negative or maybe questioning would be the better word.
I find it difficult to recount the journey from being part of a brotherhood as a Marine to floundering to find my way professionally as a civilian. What do I say about a lackluster (read nonexistent) love life and the paralysis of not knowing how to change that (a topic for another day). What school should I go to? What will I do if I don’t go to school? Should I stay in Barcelona or go somewhere else? If I leave where would I go?
I was re-reading a journal entry from last year’s 31 Day Reset I did in July. I was struck by what I wrote about living out my values in action. “I’d be happy and content. Perhaps, my itchy feet will want to stay put if I am fully living out my best life.” Perhaps this feeling of angst and unsettledness would leave me if I was doing work that was challenging, energizing and soul satisfying.
I started out this post as review of 2012, well the randomness captures what the year has been like for me. I ended 2012 with my mind is still a-whirled as it was when the year began. Sometimes, I feel like there is a ping-pong ball just bouncing around from one side to the next never settling or focusing on one thing. I wonder at this inability to hone in one aspect of my life and see it completed. I wonder, does anyone else feel this way and what is the trick to harnessing the frantic & frenetic energy of that ball into useful progress. Going back to the beginning of this post … change in the only constant of 2012. I’d prefer 2013 to be more constant with tangible progress.
I hope you entered your New Year with a calmer mind than I. Here’s to a fabulous 2013 with a clear vision and laser focus on what you want your life to be.
P.S. One sure thing from 2012 is the knowledge of my inherent geekiness. This year 2013 may just be the year of the geek!