Friday evening I arrived in Bedford, England after another adventurous travel day. Lately all my travel days have moments of the dramatic which nearly leaves me in tears. But that’s another post for another day. I am enjoying my time here in a small English village. Friday evening I went out with my friend CinsofJoy and some of the ladies in her circle. All were mothers, and if not married at one point they had been. During the evening of nibbles and cocktails and sat back and compared my life to theirs and had a bit of envy.
Don’t get me wrong, I would not change the life that I have lived (for the most part) as it has shaped and molded me into the woman I am today. However, one does ponder from time to time the choices made that decided the trajectory of one’s life. What if I had not succumbed to family and church pressure and instead gone away to college? What if I had worried less about finances and more about finishing college on time? What if I had done that semester abroad that I wanted to? What if I hadn’t join the military? What if this, what if that? So many what ifs, but they are all useless.
Even with talk of parallel universe and a possible multiverse, the physicists haven’t figured out how to time travel so I can’t go back and make a different choice there. And one different choice may lead to a minor course adjustment but then there are other choices to be made. Life is like a ship plying ocean waters, each decision the captain makes influences the ship but no one decision determines the final destination. Full throttle or half throttle? Sail into the wind or let it hit crosswise? More or less cargo? So many choices and life is filled with even more.
So even though I sat in the pub sipping on a cocktail and wishing for the life of some of the ladies, I realized that my life in my own. My journey unique; my experiences the water to polish refine the stone of my life and reveal my best self. I do know the life they have I will one day lead. As I pray for it, I must not stop living and seeking out new experiences as these continue to teach me about myself and about this life we all share.