Choices

Friday evening I arrived in Bedford, England after another adventurous travel day. Lately all my travel days have moments of the dramatic which nearly leaves me in tears. But that’s another post for another day. I am enjoying my time here in a small English village. Friday evening I went out with my friend CinsofJoy and some of the ladies in her circle. All were mothers, and if not married at one point they had been. During the evening of nibbles and cocktails and sat back and compared my life to theirs and had a bit of envy.

Pick a fruit any fruit – simple choices

Don’t get me wrong, I would not change the life that I have lived (for the most part) as it has shaped and molded me into the woman I am today. However, one does ponder from time to time the choices made that decided the trajectory of one’s life. What if I had not succumbed to family and church pressure and instead gone away to college? What if I had worried less about finances and more about finishing college on time? What if I had done that semester abroad that I wanted to? What if I hadn’t join the military? What if this, what if that? So many what ifs, but they are all useless.

Even with talk of parallel universe and a possible multiverse, the physicists haven’t figured out how to time travel so I can’t go back and make a different choice there. And one different choice may lead to a minor course adjustment but then there are other choices to be made. Life is like a ship plying ocean waters, each decision the captain makes influences the ship but no one decision determines the final destination. Full throttle or half throttle? Sail into the wind or let it hit crosswise? More or less cargo? So many choices and life is filled with even more.

So even though I sat in the pub sipping on a cocktail and wishing for the life of some of the ladies, I realized that my life in my own. My journey unique; my experiences the water to polish refine the stone of my life and reveal my best self. I do know the life they have I will one day lead. As I pray for it, I must not stop living and seeking out new experiences as these continue to teach me about myself and about this life we all share.

Lady Littlefoot

4 thoughts on “Choices

  1. I’ll be honest-I still do this from time to time. Many of my friends do not have children or have ever been married; so sometimes I find myself wondering what my life would be like if I had not chosen to be married and have a child. But then again with each choice we would have made the result would have made us or turned us into a completely different person then we are today. So like the saying goes..everything happens for a reason.

    • Hi Bessie,

      Isn’t it funny how we often think the grass is greener on the other side even for just a moment?

      As Eugenia said ‘What happened is what should have happened, if something different was supposed to happen it would have.’

  2. You know I used to do that but I heard something one day that gave me peace with my choices.

    ‘What happened is what should have happened, if something different was supposed to happen it would have.’

    Let’s me enjoy my life and enjoy the present moment. Because ruminating about the past or obsessing over the future, just creates suffer. And Imma pass on that.

    • Thanks Eugenia,

      I remind myself of that many times. I also ask myself what have I learned or what did a particular experience teach me about myself, about life and what will I now do about that when I am faced with a life far different from the one I live.

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