Today I fired up the lap top to write the days’ post and I drew a blank. Not a I don’t have anything to write about blank but a I’m too tired to think straight blank. After a few minutes of nodding off and not putting words on the screen I moseyed over to various blogging prompts. What did you think I came up with the topics all by my lonesome? Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Today I chose one from Writeous Babe which was to write about a memory.
Funnily enough it’s a memory of someone who is now an ex. That relationship did not work out but to date it’s the one that taught me the most about how I should be treated as a women. It was 2009 and we were aboard a Naval vessel in the Pacific ocean. I don’t remember exactly where on the ocean we were and it doesn’t really matter. The ex who I will refer to as Gorilla Man (cause he was broad-shouldered like a primate) and I were sitting on the mess deck. It was the evening meal and it was coming to a close. He was finished eating, I was not and we were chatting about life and what brought us to where we were. He then asked the dreaded question all single women grow to hate. With all that I had to offer, why was I still single at this point in my life. I started to tear up. If you had asked me before that I would have said that, that question doesn’t bother me. But that day, with that man who I was just getting to know, the question brought tears to my eyes. He saw the shimmering drops getting ready to fall and gathered up our trays and lead the way out of the mess deck, away from prying eyes.
That night there was no moon and very little stars to see. Gorilla Man escorted me to the catwalk where the darkness concealed my tears. We continued our conversation. I don’t remember all we discussed but I remember feeling safe and appreciating that he knew, even after a short time, that I didn’t want anyone to see me crying. I had a tough Marine image after all. I remember the black velvet sky with the occasional pin prick of star light peeking through the clouds. I remember the soft breeze dusting my cheeks and lips with a hint of salt. I remember the sound of the water against the hull, and the faint green florescence where the water broke against the metal.
I remember his big hand on my shoulder comforting me and the quality of the conversation. We did not just talk about why I was single. That was the beginning of a long conversation and through it he made me feel safe. He made me feel like I could have any kind of conversation with a man and he wouldn’t think I was crazy or out in space somewhere.
After that night Gorilla Man and I had many other conversations that ran the gamut from religion and politics to childhood experiences. But they all began a ship in the middle of the Pacific on a dark night with a soft, salty breeze.
Are there any conversations that you’d had that has changed the way you approach a situation? Did you learn something about yourself?