Sometimes you have to ask yourself ….

I am a subscriber to O Magazine and have been so for about 6 years now. It is always filled with uplifting articles, great personal stories and other insightful bits to help you Live Your Best Life (LYBL) whether that be business, family, romantic, spiritual or otherwise. I have taken many lessons from O Mag over the years and used the tools provided in my personal growth and development. One of these was written by Life Coach Martha Beck back in 2011. That year, with the knowledge that my time in the Marines was coming to an end, I began to IMAGINE what my future would look like. I soon realised that I needed to identify some things and ask myself some questions before I could truly ENVISION my best life. Beck’s piece titled, The questions are all useful and some will resonate more so that others.

The first question seems simple and almost useless. 1. What questions should I be asking myself? However, Beck says “At first I thought asking yourself what you should be asking yourself was redundant. It isn’t. Without this question, you wouldn’t ask any others, so it gets top billing. It creates an alert, thoughtful mind state, ideal for ferreting out the information you most need in every situation. Ask it frequently.”

I have found this to be true. Sometimes I get bogged down by the what ifs in my head, by the choices before, by the comparison with others in the same age bracket, by all the things I haven’t done in my life. So bogged down that I can see the forest for the trees and am not able to find the path up ahead amongst the trunks and branches. I am at that point in my life (again it seems) but really what I need to do is ask myself the right questions and then go about answering them. The series of questions that follow build on each other. For instance when I first did the 20 questions number 8. What is my body telling me?, resonated with me as I was making plans to leave the Marines but was still unsure. Beck writes that your body, “is a wise, capable creature. It recoils from what’s bad for us, and leans into what’s good. Let it.” My body at the time, was recoiling from the work it took to maintain a high level of physical fitness. Since the previous year I had suffered one injury after another, the worse being a pulled right hamstring and an abductor. Previously, I had rolled my ankles too many times to count as well as doing something to my right shoulder where I couldn’t do weighted shrugs and certain other exercises requiring the use of my right shoulder. My body was talking. Loudly, drowning out the skeptical brain scared to leave the comfort of the known and venture out. My body was saying, you are done missy, you are done now before the next injury requires surgery. That is not a scare tactic, many Marines in my age range and some younger were having surgeries due to the injuries sustained during training or on deployment. I saw the light, heard the surgery sounds and kept walking down the exit ramp away from the Corps and the routines I had gotten accustomed to after 8 years.

That was just one question, however it helped to clarify something within myself and confirm the steps I was taking at the time. Now my body is telling me I need to get my ever-widening lazy butt back to the gym. Curves are appreciated, but a marshmallow looking girl is not. I’m not saying I am a marshmallow, but I love food so if I want to continue to indulge I need to find a way to get rid of the extra calories. I’ve come to the realization that I need a gym, preferably a personal trainer or small class because YouTube isn’t cutting it for me. I am lazy. I will roll over and pull the covers over my head every single day unless I have to go be accountable to someone. I know there is a gym near where I live, I have known this for about a month. Yet, I haven’t stopped in to check it out or sign up. Partly, because I am not the beast in the gym I used to be and it’s very demoralizing when you have to start over with the 10 lbs weights and they are heavy.

There I go again digressing from the questions. My aim with this post is to encourage you to use one of the many tools out there to improve your outlook and hopefully your life.

Messing with the umbrella on Phuket Beach. Best body shape & level of physical fitness.

Now that I’ve told you about the gym and needing to get fitness level up, I will go find the gym and get to working out. I know someone will ask me about what my body is saying sooner or later so I better get to it. The above picture is the goal 112 pounds (appx 51kg) of awesomeness. It is my goal for weight, body size and level of physical fitness. I could do 45-60 mins of cardio and then lift weights for an hour (I was deployed on ship with not much else to do).

Take a look at the 20 Questions That Could Change Your Life and start asking yourself some of them. If you’ve done something similar please leave a note in the comment section.

Lady Littlefoot.

5 thoughts on “Sometimes you have to ask yourself ….

  1. I’m in the constant journey of discovering new things about myself. Some things I’ve discovered lately, I don’t like. That’s not a bad thing, it sets me out on another journey of change which is not always the easiest thing to do. Something about being married has spurred me on self-improvement. Not just b/c I want to be a better person for him but I know that he and I deserve me to be a better person, a better spouse and this thing about having a baby. This non-existent, gonna come one day child has me on a complete self-introspection thing. This child deserves for me to be a good parent and I’m very cognizant of that. I love this quote from Charles Schulz, creator of the Peanuts ‘the road is better than the end.’ That’s how I like to think of this journey even when it’s rough & unfamiliar, it still turns out okay.

  2. You know why I haven’t asked (been asking) myself the questions I need to be asking? It’s because I’m afraid of the answer. I can admit that, but it doesn’t put me any closer to changing/addressing the things that need to be changed and/or addressed. I do know what I need to do fitness-wise, so maybe I’ll start there. Eventually. I am plagued by absolute laziness and a desire to figure out why there is not a wand equivalent to ruby slippers that will simply zap my body into where I want it to be. At 5’6″ 108 pounds, I am considered underweight. No amount of eating (and believe me, I eat!) changes it. Pregnancy changes it (but my husband refuses to allow me to redo that). All that said, thanks for this. I am going to look at the other questions to see where else I can conjure up some “do yourself better”ness.

    You are gorgeous!
    Arnebya recently posted..I Got Nothin’My Profile

    • Hi Arnebya,

      We should get together and switch metabolism for a few months, maybe then we’ll get to where we want to be. All joking aside, just make sure you are eating healthily. We all have different body types and those types are subject to change. I was under 110 lbs until I hit 30 and then slowly the weight started creeping on. I am at about 120 now and I don’t look bad but I am scared that little by little I will look like the Michelin man if I don’t pay attention to my health. Mostly I need to exercise and exercise often.

      I hope the 20 questions get you started on that as well. You can see my posts under 31 Day Reset (from Rosetta’s blog) for an idea of how I tackled the reset. I know I need to go back and reread some of the posts and my personal writings to stay on course or change direction as needed.

      I hope my journey can help you on yours.


  3. This is awesome. (And you’re an Aquarius too?! Haha.)

    I really like the first question of what should we be asking ourselves. And it’s so interesting that it SEEMS so self-explanatory but when you really try the question out, it becomes harder. It definitely requires a certain level of self-awareness because you might think there aren’t any questions to ask yourself. And a lot of the time we don’t even realize there’s a problem until we’re asked a question that makes us think about it.

    Great post!
    tatiana recently posted..Day 5 || Giving Things Up and ProductivityMy Profile

    • Hi Tatiana,

      Thanks for stopping by and for the compliment. For the record I am a Virgo, that temp tattoo was for the man at the time (thank God it was temporary!)

      You are right, it does seem self explanatory but the many of the questions are difficult to answer. Sometimes because we don’t know the answer and other times because we’d rather not know the answer because then we’d have decisions to make. For me decision making with regards to my life is often fraught with anxiety so sometimes I avoid them which just leads to more angst.


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