The past cannot change but you can.

Many of us, myself included go through life holding onto things both tangible and intangible. However, unlike the detritus of living that can be taken out and put into the dumpster, words said and actions taken against us are harder to let go of. Harder to consign to the dustbin of life. But the thing is when you hold on to the spirit crushing words of a parent you do not allow the life affirming encouragement of a friend to take root and bloom. When you hold unto the selfish and baseless acts of an old lover you block the giving and loving of the new one.

Jimminy Peaks Nov 2005

Jimminy Peaks Nov 2005

The old hurts and sorrows does not allow you to bask in the glow of new happiness. I opened my YouTube subscriptions to see what was awaiting me to pass the time and one of the ladies I followed had added the following video of Lady O aka Oprah Winfrey talking about forgiveness to her favorites. It’s short but so rich in life lesson I had to share.

Oprah on Forgiveness

Whatever you are doing today know that “forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.” You cannot change abusive parent, a selfish sibling, a careless lover, a spiteful boss. Whatever happened to you, and in your life is completed. Finished. Done. The occurrences cannot be changed but you but how you deal with them can. Choose to accept that you did not deserve such treatment and walk away from it. In accepting you cannot change the past also know that you can affect the future by choosing to do differently than was done to you. You can also affect your future by choosing to address how those past actions have affected you perhaps by a spot of therapy, prayer, long walks and talks with dear friends or meditation. We each are different and have different needs. Find what works for you and pursue it, often and continuously.

I love music and often turn to it as a friend. Ask my friends and they will tell you I’ve a tune for most situations even if it’s one line of a song. Here are a few that talk about forgiveness, enjoy!

We all need forgiveness and there is nothing sweeter (especially forgiving yourself).
Nothing’s sweeter than forgiveness

The heart of life is forgiveness.
The heart of the matter. ~ Don Henley

Even when we the judge and jury says we have a right to hold a grudge, there is forgiveness. Help me now to do the impossible … Forgiveness
The impossible … forgiveness

Lady Littlefoot

2 thoughts on “The past cannot change but you can.

  1. Great post on forgiveness! It’s so easy to stay in an unforgiving mood, it’s comfy and cozy but it takes work to let go and move on although it will make a world of difference. Here is to letting go in 2013!

    • I heard something that I’ve heard before on choosing to forgive. I think it was On Oprah’s Soul Sunday. I’ll look for it later. The speaker said that we must make the choice to forgive and to do otherwise is to be in bondage to whatever happened to us and to that person (I’n paraphrasing).

      This was a revelation to me. So now instead of beating myself up for not fully forgiving past hurts I instead choose to tender forgiveness again.

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